Open your time by inviting teens to share their responses to the following question:
- Have you ever been able to tell when someone is lying to you? How could you tell? (Accept all reasonable responses.)
Professor and author Vanessa Van Edwards specializes in teaching people science-based communication tips to help grow their relationships. In the video clip we’re about to watch, she shares one way to observe other people’s communication to tell whether or not they’re lying. Let’s take a look.
Show this clip to your students [0:38]: How to Tell if Someone is Lying in Seconds
Let’s see how well you can distinguish truth from lies. Have everyone get a partner. (If your class is meeting online, you can use the breakout room feature of your video chat software.) We’re going to play “two truths and a lie,” the game mentioned in this video clip. Take turns telling each other three supposed facts about yourself, but only use truthful facts for two of them. Make up one “fact” that is a lie. Mix them up so your partner won’t know which is the lie. Watch your partner closely for “tells” that will give away their lies, then guess which one of the three “facts” is the lie. Give your teens an opportunity to do this. Take a random poll at the end to find out how many were able to discern the truth from a lie.
- What are some lies we hear or say (or write) that we wouldn’t want others to find out are untrue? (Answers might include: Social media posts showing that we’re happy and popular. Telling a friend they look great even when we don’t think so. Leaving out details our parents may not like.)
- Why do we lie? (Answers will vary. They may include: to keep from hurting others, to avoid punishment or consequences, because it’s too difficult to be honest with ourselves.)
Sometimes, we tell little lies (or white lies) without even thinking about it. Other times, we might tell big whoppers, knowing full well what we’re doing, but we go ahead because it seems too scary or dangerous to tell the truth. But not being honest causes damage to us and others, and especially with our relationship with God. God wants us to be truthful and will even help us deal with the consequences of lies. Today, we will learn about the importance of honesty and consider some of the consequences of lies and hiding from the truth.